The Nuances and Challenges of Federal Funding for Research — Guest Post by An Academic

When I seized the wheel of business development at an energy firm teetering on the edge of irrelevance, my first noble crusade was to procure LNG—a substance we had ample capacity to receive, yet none to burn, like a gourmet kitchen without food. Thus was born AltLNG, my unholy offspring of desperation and ingenuity, conceived far beyond the picket fence of corporate orthodoxy. Budgeting for such heresy? A laughable notion. How does one price the whispers of the void? Nonetheless, I conjured a number with the requisite gravitas, won approval through sheer rhetorical velocity, and—mirabile dictu—ended up spending far less. The surplus, of course, did not return to the virgin vaults of frugality; it wandered off to more… interpretive applications. Think scientific grants, only without the science and with just enough moral decay to keep the carousel spinning. Honestly, most of that ecosystem deserves the axe—or at least a controlled demolition with popcorn. 

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